The D.R. is in.
11:34:00 PM
A message from your one and only Champion.
I would tell you guys that you can just give me the trophy right now...but the thing is, I already have it. Seeing as I've won ALL of the championships during the auction era, I think it's safe to say that my fantasy football prowess is unrivaled. While last year I made a competition of it, this year I'm afraid I couldn't control my own fantasy strength so to speak. I really just want to apologize to all of you for how badly you're all going to fare. Hopefully you can take some comfort in the knowledge that it is going to be fun for me.
Now, without further ado, I'd like to introduce you to the players who are going to be rocking your teams, all season long.
Dezeus
"Best player, offense: Dez Bryant. Who else? He's been a dominant force from the first day of practice. He's making one-handed, leaping and diving catches."
"Best player, offense: Dez Bryant was dominant from the first day of practice through the end, making a highlight grab just about every session. It was the continuation of what Bryant did to close the 2012 season and whets the appetite for what he could do in 2013."
"Best player, offense: Definitely Dez Bryant. He’s always been a physical freak who can make ridiculously acrobatic catches look easy. There are few receivers in the league who can match Bryant’s hands or explosiveness or ability to go up and fight for the ball."
Get used to hearing "best player" and "Dez Bryant" in the same sentence.
Jam Cham
"His ability to slash through the smallest of creases and then use his world-class speed to run past defenders has made him one of the most dynamic playmakers in the NFL, someone who twice ran for more than 200 yards in a game last season."
"After running for more than 1,500 yards last season in his return from a devastating knee injury, Charles now is getting a chance to showcase his versatility. He's been catching plenty of balls out of the backfield while also lining up at wide receiver for new coach Andy Reid."
Dude's catching balls in the backfield, what more do you need to know?
AMPM
"Alfred jumped into action fearlessly, snatching the baby from the jaws of the ferocious pit bull. He then proceeded to out-run the pack while dodging shuriken from the attacking ninjas. His only fault is that in the heat of the moment, he spiked the child upon reaching safety."
Think of how that will translate into fantasy football though!
Demaryius T
"Thomas appears ready to make the jump into the elite group of fantasy wideouts this season."
"Last year, no receiver in the NFL delivered a higher passer rating on balls thrown to him than Thomas, at 126.2, per Pro Football Focus."
Manning:Thomas = WINNING!!
...is that phrase still alive?
Seahawks Defence
"In breaking down the Seahawks' lineup, it's obvious that Carroll has stockpiled "urgent" athletes to create a fierce pass rush capable of overwhelming opponents with speed and quickness."
"With four defensive backs who balance and complement each other's skills, it is easy to see why the Seahawks' secondary is becoming the gold standard in today's NFL."
"Players appeared to have an extra bounce in their stride; the buzz permeated the field in an infectious manner. I believe this also translates to energized performances in games, particularly in front of "The 12th Man" at CenturyLink Field. The defense plays with more intensity and swagger before the boisterous home crowd."
What he said, with 12 men playing, Seattle's D is going to win me games.
I'm not even going to tell you what they're saying about A-Rodge, because what do you really need to say about the best. Similarly, I suppose there isn't much more to say about your beloved champion. I'm sorry to inform you, but you're all in very Bad Shape.
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