Kumbayas and Kumbayays: The 2014 Schedule
7:33:00 PM
Let's start with the basics:
- I started looking at fantasy football prospects in March
- I created an Excel doc that is going on its 13th tab, complete with pivot tables, vlookups, crazy IF functions, and other things of that ilk.
- That same spreadsheet took me 14 hours to make
- I came up with two separate schedules: one for a 10-team league and one for a 12-team league. In April
- I have dropped a collective $70 on subscription services
- Did I mention my spreadsheet took me 14 hours to make? Oh, and it's broken. It currently says the top RB is Demarco Murray.
Why am I telling you this if it only adds ammunition to make fun of me? Simple, it's because I'm not afraid to admit when I love doing something. And what I love doing is thinking strategy, analyzing, and just plain reading about football. Ask Bryan or Ed about how much I knew in the draft and how much I enjoyed talking about it.
This is a game. That's all it is. Sure we do it for money, but let's be honest, at the end of the day we'd rather say we beat our friends than we did we won money. And the beautiful thing is, this year more than ever, we can focus on the game and beating our friends. There's no league issues or disputes to go over. Just the game, the fun, and the people.
So with pride and pleasure, I unashamedly present you the 2014 Real Men Cry league schedule. In April.
Week 1
This is a game. That's all it is. Sure we do it for money, but let's be honest, at the end of the day we'd rather say we beat our friends than we did we won money. And the beautiful thing is, this year more than ever, we can focus on the game and beating our friends. There's no league issues or disputes to go over. Just the game, the fun, and the people.
So with pride and pleasure, I unashamedly present you the 2014 Real Men Cry league schedule. In April.
Week 1
Bryan vs Dan
Joe vs Jeff
Danny vs Baron
Jose vs Tim
Katarya vs Sean
Bryan gets his wish as he plays a rematch of the 2013 Billy Strubin Bowl against Dan. And as a celebration and welcome back, Sean gets to play old friend and rival Katarya. As is the norm, our yearly Rochester opener consists of Danny taking on Baron, while Tim and I go head to head and Joe and Jeff finish up the opening weekend.
Week 2
Week 2
Katarya vs Danny
Sean vs Joe
Tim vs Jeff
Jose vs Dan
Bryan vs Baron
Week 2 is highlighted by a bunch of random intradivision matchups. None of these teams will play each other again this season. Katarya heads further down I-90 to take on Danny, while Tim and Jeff play each other in one of the quieter matchups of the year (I assume). Sean takes on Joe for the first time ever, while Dan tries to redeem his loss to Jose last year. Meanwhile, Bryan and Baron talk trash, as Bryan opens up with a tough two game stretch.
Week 3
Week 3
Katarya vs Jose
Sean vs Bryan
Baron vs Jeff
Danny vs Dan
Tim vs Joe
Now is when we start getting into the stretch of interdivision matchups. Katarya and myself compete minority vs minority, while Sean and Bryan take each other on. Baron vs Jeff means Baron has almost played the Rochester trifecta in three weeks. Danny taking on Dan promises to be good unless they play like they normally do (Dan has a hot start and Danny a cold one). Tim will take on Joe in a battle of two unlucky teams from last year
Week 4
Katarya vs Bryan
Sean vs Tim
Baron vs Dan
Danny vs Joe
Jose vs Jeff
The highlight of the week is Baron taking on Dan in some hardcore historical powerhouse action, but don't sleep on Bryan vs Katarya as both those teams made the playoffs last year. Sean takes on Tim as Tim opens two of the first four weeks against people he doesn't really know, and Danny takes on Joe in what should be an entertaining back and forth between the two. Did I mention that this is also the one time the two teams never to have made the playoffs - Joe excluded - play each other all year?
Week 5
Baron vs Joe
Dan vs Jeff
Sean vs Danny
Katarya vs Tim
Jose vs Bryan
Week 5 is the first time we see the Chicago rivalry take form. Meanwhile, Week 5 is roughly the time I start trading my team away, so it probably bodes well for Bryan. Danny and Sean get to reconnect in fantasy for the first time since 2012, while Joe gets to talk smack to Baron and Dan to Jeff. At least, I assume they talk smack.
Week 6
Week 6
Sean vs Jose
Tim vs Bryan
Danny vs Jeff
Joe vs Dan
Katarya vs Baron
Another solid Rochester game as the annual Bread Bowl takes place between White Aaron and Wheat Aaron. Danny and Jeff make it a Rochester sweep on the day. Sean goes through his welcome back tour by playing yours truly, and Joe takes on Dan during a tough three week stretch. Bryan vs Tim could be entertaining if only based on the commentary at the bottom of the page.
Week 7
Tim vs Dan
Jose vs Baron
Danny vs Bryan
Sean vs Jeff
Katarya vs Joe
Week 7 highlights more interdivision matchups. Danny against Bryan has promist, same with Katarya vs Joe. I'm looking forward to Tim vs Dan, if only to see if Tim gets royally screwed out of wins again in a shootout.
Week 8
Jose vs Bryan
Sean vs Tim
Baron vs Danny
Joe vs Jeff
Katarya vs Dan
We're starting to get round two of the intradivision games in, but Katarya does play Dan his only time this year. And after losing to him in the playoffs, I'm sure he'd like some satisfaction from last year.
Week 9
Tim vs Baron
Jose vs Danny
Bryan vs Joe
Sean vs Dan
Katarya vs Jeff
Yep, the final week of pure interdivision games. Old roommates collide when Tim and Baron play (this game is always good). Jose and Danny will be full of reminders that MSPaint bets haven't happened. Bryan vs Joe means a lot of good smack talk. Katarya and Jeff is full of friendship and harmony. Or vitriol. One of the two. And Sean and Dan just because.
Week 10
Bryan vs Jeff
Week 10
Bryan vs Jeff
Danny vs Dan
Tim vs Jose
Katarya vs Sean
Baron vs Joe
At this point every team has played each other already except for Bryan and Jeff. And, if anything holds up according to history, Bryan will be in the playoff hunt, Jeff on the fringes - and somehow Jeff will come away with a win. At least, that's what happens to me.
Week 11
Katarya vs Jose
Tim vs Bryan
Danny vs Joe
Jeff vs Dan
Sean vs Baron
Week 12
Joe vs Dan
Tim vs Danny
Baron vs Jeff
Jose vs Sean
Katarya vs Bryan
The big highlight in this week is Tim taking on Danny in what I can only presume is a match with some Cane's riding on it.
Week 13
Tim vs Katarya
Sean vs Bryan
Danny vs Jeff
Baron vs Dan
Jose vs Joe
In what is a minor tradition I started last year, Tim and Katarya will play each other on the last week of the season. If only because I said so. I like the idea of ending with Sean and Bryan playing each as they're two powerhouse teams historically. Meanwhile, Danny takes on Jeff as, traditionally, they're both low scoring teams, but somehow Danny wins. I said historically, jeez. Smiley face. Baron takes on Dan in what could be a very good closer, and Joe and I take each other on to see who finally wins the Bed Bet.
By the way, could you tell I got bored of typing and started giving up further and further into the writeup?
By the way, could you tell I got bored of typing and started giving up further and further into the writeup?
Of course you did.
And that, gentlemen and gentlemen, is the 2014 schedule! While you'll inevitably read this and forget about fantasy until July, I wanted to give you this gift, if only to get excited to "hang out" with your friends this fall. Well, that and the prospect of making fun of me. Am I right?!
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