August 30th. 4 pm CST.
August 30th. 4 pm CST.
August 30th. 4 pm CST.
I'm being overbearing because I want to hammer home the point that our draft is August 30th. 4 pm CST. Of course, with our draft being August 30th, 4 pm CST, it's only natural that we want to know who were playing against. After all, the first four weeks of the season are generally some of the most important. Get off to a good start and you're well positioned before the bye weeks. Get off to a bad start and you turn into Hairon Buttarya and trade away your team for the right to get money to pay off a stupid contract you signed a couple of years back.
(Side note. Whenever Arun goes into full tank mode, he'll forever turn into his alter ego Hairon Buttarya. At least for me. That name is too good not to use in some context. At least for me.)
Either way, I've finally put together this year's schedule. I'll provide a breakdown, but only highlight the matchup I find most interesting for that week. Enjoy.
Week 1:
Danny vs Jeff
Arun vs Tim
Jose vs Dan
Sean vs Bryan
Matchup of the week: Joe vs Siems
Joe used his "Champion's Right" to choose Siems as his week one opponent. His reasoning? "Because it's past dynasty vs future dynasty". I don't necessarily agree with that as it's recognizing Baron as once having had a dynasty. But alas, Joe has chosen this. But this has the look of being one of the best opening weeks yet. Arun vs Tim? Sean vs Bryan? Danny vs Jeff? All those have their own storylines. I'd like to say Jose vs Dan would be interesting, but other than #factisdanlost, there really isn't much to talk about.
Week 2:
Danny vs Arun
Joe vs Jose
Bryan vs Baron
Sean vs Tim
Matchup of the week: Dan vs Jeff
Why these two you may be asking? Because if I had to redo my preseason keeper rankings, Jeff's keepers would vault up a bit thanks to the AP hype train that's gaining speed. And I'm intrigued by Jeff's keepers, because if he has a good draft this year, he could take become a formidable opponent. I think this game could be closer than people think.
Week 3:
Jose vs Arun
Danny vs Bryan
Dan vs Tim
Jeff vs Baron
Matchup of the week: Joe vs Sean
This is pretty simple. Last year's regular season champion vs last year's end-of-season champion. Not much more explanation needed
Week 4:
Danny vs Sean
Joe vs Arun
Bryan vs Tim
Dan vs Baron
Matchup of the week: Jose vs Jeff
This match will be the catalyst to the most epic playoff run you'll ever see. The winner will be vaulted to heights never before seen, as they ride a majestic unicorn through the Straight of Gibraltar and punch three of the four horseman of the apocalypse in the face. Children will sing songs about this match. About this season. For the winner will gallivant in a parade of glory.
Or, you know, we'll hope to make the playoffs.
Week 5:
Danny vs Joe
Sean vs Jose
Bryan vs Dan
Tim vs Jeff
Matchup of the week: Arun vs Baron
I deem this the matchup of week because it's the mother freakin' Bread Browl! White bread Aaron takes on Wheat bread Arun in a battle that could actually have some meaning. Katarya should conceivably have a much improved team while Baron goes forth with what he hopes is his new Ray Rice (sans the beatings) in CJ Anderson.
Week 6:
Danny vs Jose
Bryan vs Jeff
Tim vs Baron
Joe vs Dan
Matchup of the week: Sean vs Arun
Solely picking because of the historical bromance between the two. Or maybe I'm dreaming that. Don't care.
Week 7:
Joe vs Jeff
Sean vs Baron
Jose vs Bryan
Arun vs Dan
Matchup of the week: Danny vs Tim
I've always enjoyed Danny's and Tim's back and forth. If only because the dynamic between the two is so giggly. At least, if my memory serves me it is. It's some vanilla insult (because, really, why do they want to insult a friend?) followed by laughter, then another comment, then more laugher. I feel like this will be the most soul-rewarding loss for whoever ends up on the short end of this matchup.
Week 8:
Danny vs Sean
Joe vs Jose
Baron vs Tim
Jeff vs Dan
Matchup of the wee: Arun vs Bryan
I feel compelled to make this the matchup of the week for one reason. And it's not rooted in any fact, or reason, or logic, or whatever. At this point in the season I'm going out on a limb and predicting Arun is actually ahead of Bryan in the standings, making him the favorite for this game. My only thought is Katarya usually goes through two awful years and then one amazing year. And this year he's due to be amazing. Meanwhile, like I said about Bryan's keepers, they're kind of meh this year, so he'll really, really need to draft well.
Week 9:
Danny vs Joe
Sean vs Arun
Bryan vs Jeff
Jose vs Baron
Matchup of the week: Dan vs Tim
Want to know what a copout sounds like? It's picking this matchup because I didn't think Tim had enough matchups of the week. Here's what I know about both of these teams: cash-strapped Tim will have put together a mish-mosh of players while Dan will have Dez Bryant catching TDs for him all day. That's roughly where I'm at with this. Tim does have Demarco and Alshon, so that should be good for him, but who knows how healthy people will be Week 9.
Week 10:
Danny vs Jose
Joe vs Arun
Bryan vs Tim
Sean vs Jeff
Matchup of the week: Dan vs Baron
This is four of the league's seven championships matching up in the first week where byes can really affect a team. Historically Dan's teams have been built under the "barbell" methodology (essentially, top and bottom heavy. Not many middle tier players). We don't know if he'll do the same this year and, if so, if it will affect this game. But the point is, this game could be interesting. And that, my friends, is how you write lazily.
Week 11:
Joe vs Sean
Danny vs Dan
Tim vs Jeff
Bryan vs Baron
Matchup of the week: Jose vs Arun
Arun and myself remind me of those borderline relegation squads of the English Premier League. We fight and fight just to avoid being the last two teams. Sure, occasionally we'll surprise (and by we I mean Arun) and come out in the top 6 or something, but otherwise, pretty much getting trounced. Like I said earlier though, I think this will be a surprise season from Arun, and I'm only hoping that I can have this game mean something then.
Week 12:
Danny vs Arun
Sean vs Jose
Bryan vs Dan
Joe vs Tim
Matchup of the week: Jeff vs Baron
Okay, so at this point in the season it's like throwing darts at a chalkboard. Yes, a chalkboard. That's basically saying nothing I'm going to throw here sticks, and blah blah blah. I only picked this matchup because I want it to mean something. I'm rooting for Jeff solely because I want him to make the playoffs if it isn't me. And I'm hoping that by picking him here, that will give him some sort of good karma that will have this game matter for him. I can hope dammit.
Week 13:
Danny vs Baron
Sean vs Dan
Jose vs Tim
Arun vs Jeff
Matchup of the week: Joe vs Bryan
End the season on a rematch of the championship game. I mean, who knows what people's records will be here, but there are some juicy matchups overall. Jeff vs Arun in a cross-country Rochester battle. I mean, it's LA vs NYC for goodness sake! Danny vs Baron in another Rochester battle. Jose vs Tim in a battle of mixed bloods. And Sean vs Dan take each other on in what could be a battle for playoff seeding, not just entry.
August 30th. 4 pm CST. And in case you're wondering where I got my inspiration for this subtle approach:
