Unicorns and Booty-O's

10:27:00 AM



Guess what?  Guess WHAT?!

I haven't done any studying this year for fantasy football.  I've sat down in front of a computer, thought "Okay, let's do this", then gotten really bored and walked away.

But that doesn't mean I've done nothing fantasy football related!  Au contrair mo'fair (or whatever)



Let's talk about the biggest thing you might have noticed: The look of the blog has changed.  It's actually a work in progress as we speak, so it could change again.

The original purpose of the blog, outside of random posts, was to house a bunch of tertiary info - including manually tracked stats, draft history, about pages for every owner, standings, matchups, etc.  As you can see, I never kept up with the "central hub" concept that I originally saw for the blog.  Instead, I'm trying to modify it to fit where we are and how much time we spend with this league.  It's a New Day!


My goal for the refreshed blog follows two main focuses:

1. Blog posts
2. Chat

That second item is the most ambitious and difficult to actually pull off.  In concept, it's really simple: I want to be able to use a mobile chat application like GroupMe and embed our mobile conversations directly into the page.  That way, you could talk smack both on your phone and on your computer Siem-lessly.  In practice, apparently this is impossible.  As of today, there isn't a single chat service that allows you to chat on a mobile app and embed it into a webpage.  In the meantime, I'm getting rid of a lot of the extraneous stuff we don't use anymore and keeping one eye open for an API function that could let us have mobile and web chat across the same server/hub. But right now the blog will be without the chat function.


Side note: Get GroupMe on your phone if you haven't!  I believe most of the league has it, but it's a great way to have a general smack board for the league.  We might have the draft over GroupMe (they have a webpage themselves) if it's easier than Google Hangouts, but I'm testing that.

But now on to some small housekeeping notes.  Firstly, trades this year only have a one day delay, but can be pushed through by Air Bear as he sees fit.  If you remember last year, Baron took over in-season rule enforcement, so if there's any issues, bring them up with him.  Otherwise, there shouldn't be any other changes to in-season rules for the season.

Secondly, I've backed out as commissioner of the league.  That sounds worse than it is.  Since Baron already was handling rules/governance, he was always going to act in more of an in-season commissioner role anyways.  And I'll still be doing all the off-season stuff from setting up the draft grid and times, as well as maintaining the blog however I see fit.  So it's more of a change in title only, but no change in the structure of the league or how we did things from last year.

Now, let's move on to the fun stuff!

The draft grid is updated!  All keepers and their values have been revised and reflected in the 2016 Draft Doc.  Mind you, the one area I didn't update are the current costs to cut a player, but that's because I still haven't spent the time figuring out how to calculate the new penalty costs since contracts have aged.  I know Dan knows that, but I'll try to figure it out soon enough and update those costs.  You should see I have my keepers in there already, but obviously the values I have in place aren't set in stone.

And for the biggest reason I wrote this post - the schedule is done!

Tim, he of the current champion Chicago Rillas, has chosen Jeff to be his Week 1 opponent.  In his exact words "Gotta have a rematch of last year's championship" (note: those might not be his exact words).  With that mindset, I decided that, with this being our 8th year, I was going to take us down a trip through Memory Lane with our schedule.  Therefore, in the first thematic approach to our league schedule, the first seven weeks of the season will feature a previous championship matchup in reverse order.  Of course, Ed will be replaced by Joe, so let's rewrite history and congratulate Joe on his two championship appearances so far!  

Without further adieu, the schedule:


Week 1

BryanJose
JoeSean
JeffTim
DannyKatarya
DanSiems

Matchup of the week: Jeff vs Tim.  Duh.  I'd compare it to the Dubs vs Cavs rematch this year, but c'mon, ain't nobody dropping threes on Mozgov's soul in this game.

Week 2

DannySean
DanJeff
BryanJoe
KataryaSiems
TimJose

Matchup of the week: Joe vs Bryan. Our 2014 championship rematch pits a guy who had a keeper get suspended for the chronic versus a guy who has a keeper with a chronic inability to fit into his suspenders.

Week 3

JoeSiems
JeffDanny
BryanDan
KataryaTim
JoseSean

Matchup of the week: Dan vs Bryan.  In this battle of 2013 cohorts, Bryan has to face Dan during one of the six weeks where Dan's teams seem unbeatable.

Week 4

BryanKatarya
JoeJeff
DannyDan
SiemsJose
SeanTim

Matchup of the week: Danny vs Dan.  If this 2012 rematch will go anything like it's supposed to, Danny will lose to Dan because Carolina hasn't picked up the pace yet, which means Danny's fantasy team won't either.

Week 5

DanTim
BryanJeff
DannyJoe
KataryaJose
SeanSiems

Matchup of the week: Sean vs Siems.  The 2011 rematch pits the Liverpool of our league (was once great, not so much anymore) versus the Arsenal of our league (consistently good, but never good enough).  Either way, go Stoke City!

Week 6

DanKatarya
JeffDanny
BryanJoe
SiemsJose
SeanTim

Matchup of the week: Joe vs Bryan.  In Joe's first ever playoff appearance, he had to take on Bryan in 2010.  Of course, Bryan won that, but not before Joe, and Joe alone, gave a valiant effort at the title.  Let's see if Joe can avenge that loss six years ago.

Week 7

JeffJose
DanJoe
BryanDanny
TimSiems
KataryaSean

Matchup of the week: Tim vs Siems.  In another soccer reference (yea, I got hooked on it this year), we have the Roommate Derby of 2009 back into play as these former Ray Rice truthers take each other on for, I don't know, glory or something?  

Week 8

DannyTim
BryanDan
JoeJeff
KataryaSiems
JoseSean

Matchup of the week: Siems vs Arun.  The shadow season of 2008 delivered a Baron vs Arun title game (I think).  Either way, it'll be week 8 and I have no idea what will be happening in the league other than I'll be pissing someone off with trade offers and Arun and I will be debating when we should sell our players away.

Week 9 

BryanSiems
JoeDanny
JeffDan
KataryaSean
JoseTim

Matchup of the week: Sean vs Katarya.  Now that we're out of the rematch fun, I'm just picking matchups I enjoy.  In this case, I'll always have a soft spot in my heart for any Sean vs Katarya battle.  If only because I can't get Sean's enthusiasm to play Katarya in 2012 out of my head.  

Week 10

JoeJose
BryanJeff
DannyDan
KataryaTim
SiemsSean

Matchup of the week: Joe vs Jose.  Joe and I have had a looooong history against each other since this league started.  I remember Joe used to write these odes against me and make fun of me and think he "boxed" me with his insults.  But I'd come right back at him.  Man, do you guys remember when Joe used to do that all the time?  Those were the days.

Week 11

BryanSean
JoeTim
JeffKatarya
DannySiems
DanJose

Matchup of the week: Jeff vs Katarya AND Danny vs Siems.  CROOOOOOOOOOTCHESSSSTEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Week 12

JeffSean
BryanDanny
JoeDan
SiemsTim
KataryaJose

Matchup of the week: Katarya vs Jose.  I don't know, but something tells me this game is going to matter.  St-stop laughing.

Week 13

BryanTim
JoeKatarya
JeffSiems
DannyJose
DanSean

Matchup of the week: WHO CARES?  This was the first year I didn't set up an end of season schedule with potential juicy matchups because we have no idea who will be in what position at this time.  So hey, this is how the cards fell!

There you have it folks!  Our 2016 schedule is up, the draft grid is ready to go, and we're jumping into June only 10 weeks away from drafting!  Feel the power of positivity!

















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