Instead of dwelling on the injured riddled past it is time to look to the future (I feel pretty awful that playing the Panthers D against the Vikes was a good move). I will be going to a Psychics Fair this weekend where I will ask if I will win my fantasy game this week. If any were to answer incorrectly (that I won't win), I will slap them and set them on fire. Normally I would think this is overreacting but in the psychic world it is proper procedure. Where do you think liar, liar, pants on fire came from?

Anyways this week I play Johnny Cakes. We have a little bet going on this week where the loser must give up their bed to the winner. I have dubbed (wob wob wob) this the Who's Been Sleeping in Myyy Bed Bowl. Most everyone on my team has a good matchup. I mean Jacksonville and Philadelphia? C'mon. Lacy is a beast. AP and Gates looking to redeem themselves. Panthers D at home. I hope I don't beat Johnny too bad, Kenbrell Thompkins might go to jail for the 8th time.

Johnny, you better pray to spaghetti that some twisted circumstance allows you victory because otherwise a significant part of your life is about to change. About 1/3 of it to be exact. That bed is mine Johnny boy. I'm going to sleep in that thing so hard your bed will hold my imprint until the end of days. All the lumps of your bed that you once enjoyed will be explored and conquered by me. Although I have been barred from shitting on your bed I don't think we covered the lift a cheek policy. Your expensive and stupid sounding flaxseed sheets will forever carry my essence. Insomnia is your destiny, tossing and turning, knowing that your bed is no longer your own. That your bed has known another. And not just any other, but your better.

Sleep tight.