Hyperbolism Wednesdays 10.29ish
7:56:00 PM
1. Now Baron has jumped on the trade wagon, investing in a Randall Cobb rental to get him through the rest of the season. He's now got a starting core involving Forte, Gio, and Cobb. Do you think he spent too much ($7 guaranteed and $9 if he makes the championship) to get Randall Cobb? Or is he some sort of super genius?
Danny - Baron got Cobb for a steal. I won't veto it but I won't deny it's the first time I even bothered to think about whether I should think about it in quite a while.
Dan - Super Genius no...but when your present is forfeit and you past is all you have to lean on, why not mortgage your future. But I guess in the end yes, $7 of next year's cash is too much to spend for not making the championship game.
Jose - I wouldn't call him a super genius. Heck, I don't even know if I would call this all that smart. But again, I'm in the minority about Cobb. I just think that if I could get Jamaal Charles for $8, giving up $7 for Cobb is too much. I get it, Baron needed a receiver, and Katarya is a whore for money, so it made sense. I just didn't think Cobb was the greatest investment. On a side note, I think it was stupid for Katarya to willingly take him back. Cut him loose man!
Baron - Super genius, obviously. Just wait until Josh Gordon is eligible to play.
Sean - Now Baron has jumped on the trade wagon, investing in a Randall Cobb rental to get him through the rest of the season. He's now got a starting core involving Forte, Gio, and Cobb. Do you think he spent too much ($7 guaranteed and $9 if he makes the championship) to get Randall Cobb? Or is he some sort of super genius?
No, I don't think it was too much. But Cobb will be taking a back seat to Jordy come playoff time!!!
Tim - It's a shrewd move by the Siemstress. Since fantasy always has some luck involved, I like the idea for going for it with a solid, consistent core. Cobb absolutely adds to that so I'd say it's worth the draft money since you can always find what turn out to be bargains in the draft every year. Just gotta spend it wisely. Sidebar: If I offered all of my draft money to Katarya for Emmanuel Sanders to rent for this week only, that's cool with everyone right?
Bryan - In my opinion, established players are always better than draft money, or draft picks. The price was right to get the talent, but it will be interesting to see how it affects team chemistry. Losing a high character guy like Fitz can have a big impact in the locker room, especially during a pressure-filled playoff chase.
I would stop short of calling him a super genius, well short in fact. Remember, owner Baron considers this team to be the Yankees of fantasy football. The parallel is there: a legacy of winning and self-proclaimed supremacy, with very minimal tangible results the past few years.
2. Joe currently sits one game up on four other players for the final playoff spot. He's doing it riding the Golden (Shower) Tate mobile, and Le'Veon's sassy feet. Jose and Baron have made some reinforcing moves, Tim has Demarco Murray and Aaron Rodgers, and Danny has...well, Danny always has some luck. Rank the five teams in most to least dangerous right now and explain why you think that is.
Danny -
1. Joe. Cause of Julius and Le'veon.
1a. Tim. Rodgers and Murray. Holy cow Murray.
3. tie b/t me, AirBear, and Jose. Megatron's coming back soon (i hope), but as always my fate it way too tied to the Panthers. Rivers seems to be tapering off a bit for Jose. Aaron has Forte but he's also starting LaFell this week, so... (please don't make me eat those words universe). If/when the trade goes through Bear would move up though.
Dan - I'm probably not going to be toeing the league line here, but I'm putting Tim at the top of that group, his team just seems to have the most upside. It does feel pretty risque too, but I like that. Then I would put Jose's team, but since Jose is the manager I'm going to slot Siems in at #2. #3 is Jose because I do think the team has some real talent now. #4 is Joe, when I look at his roster it just kind of makes me go, "Meh." Also it seems like most of his players have just had a couple really good games in the early part of the season, with a bunch of crap games besides. And finally I'm sorry, but Danny is #5. There are just too many Panthers and OLD panthers on that team for me to take it seriously.
Jose -
1. Joe - Le'Veon, Julio, Julius, Stafford (with Megatron coming back healthy next week), Lacy. There's some stud power here to push this team forward. More so than Baron's fo sho.
2. Jose - Just because I can. It's not like my team is a pushover anyways. Charles, Gronk, Rivers, heck, even Lamar Miller's doing it up. And the secret weapon? Jeremy Hill. Gio's been banged up the last three weeks to some degree, now he might not play Sunday. That hurts Baron, that helps me, and soon Ronnie Hillman will be back in a timeshare!
3. Baron - I've said this before, but to his credit, Baron does a good job of resetting his team midway through a season. Tom Brady, Hillman, trading for Cobb, he's got LaFell now. But I have this feeling like his team is going to have some of those guys come down (see: Hillman, Ronnie). But the one thing that he has going for him is a favorable schedule going forward. Big thing, Joe vs Baron next week.
4. Tim - His team is probably better than this. In fact, it definitely is. Demarco and Discount Double Check? Super super good. But he'll lose to Baron this week, putting him two games back of the final playoff spot with four left and games left against myself and Bryan. I would think it to be a major uphill battle.
5. Danny - He's got three Panthers playing against me as I type for a total of 13 points. In the 3rd quarter. At home. Against the Saints.
Baron -
1. Baron - Forte is playing like a maniac. Romo and the revived Brady combo makes for a legitimate QB. Plus the trade to secure a true WR1? Best overall team of that group.
2. Tim - DeMarco + Rodgers = hard to stop. However, he's lacking a true WR1 right now, and his TE combo is trending down.
3. Joe - Le'Veon Sassy Feet is solid gold. His WR corp will produce week in and week out. Julius Thomas will make up for most any slack.
4. Jose - Christine Michael is the soon-to-be #1 RB in the league. HA! But in all seriousness, Charles, Gore, and Miller are a great RB corp. Rivers is top 5 material. Marshall needs to step up though.
5. Danny - While he has the best Ravens, he has faaaaaar too many Panthers on one team. Also, Wes Welker? Seriously?
Sean -
1. Baron - because of his history of success
2. Joe - Because I think he actually has the best team of the 5. But OUCH, he is going to lose this week. All his players are on bye!
3. Tim - Because DeMarco Murray is insane this year. Last night was a relatively "bad game" for him (no TD's, lost a fumble). Still got 20 points!!!
4. Jose - kinda the opposite rationale of Baron
5. Danny - because relying on the Panthers is not the key to success
Tim - Joe, Siems, Tibs, Jose, Danny. For Joe, he's got I think the most consistent team of these 5 from top to bottom and a 1 game edge on everyone. Next, I give it to Siems after his most recent trade. Suddenly, his team looks a lot more complete and maybe Josh Gordon pays off when the clusterfuck of teams will likely still be there in another 5 weeks. I'd say I'm middle of the pack on the strength of Rodgers, DeMarco, and my Points For (2nd behind Joe of the 5). That said, the rest of my team has faltered a bit and I'm not confident in anyone right now besides the aforementioned 2 studs and the weekly defense versus Jacksonville (I got dibs on the rest of the season, guys). And will DeMarco really keep this up too? I'm ridin' with him regardless. Finally, for Jose, he mentioned his team hasn't scored a lot of points this season and that could factor in, but I do like Jamaal now for his squad. Danny's Panthers aren't too threatening to me right now... feels like Cam and their offense is a boom or bust week to week. And will Steve Smith be keepin' it up for his new team too?
Bryan -
1. SGT Tibs – The female gorillas (get it, chica gorilla?) have the look of a well-balanced team. This week aside with Teddy B and Jonas Gray in the lineup his guys have a pretty high floor, which bodes well through bye week season. Also, guys like DeMarco and A-A Ron can carry his team to victory pretty easily when the other guys aren’t prone to clunkers.
2. Joe – Would be #1, but he has to play me this week and I cannot give him any confidence. Also, Joe, breezy, bro, bruh, breahhhh… you have 8 guys on bye in one week? That’s some Jose shit that I did not expect to see from you.
3. Danny – Good bones, but just needs to flesh it out a bit. Oh right, his team… They have kept hope alive despite Killa Cam’s struggles, Megatron’s injury and the patchwork left behind. I can see a scenario where Danny finishes around .500.
It goes like this: Killa Cam and Megatron play like themselves. Wes Welker gives Peyton a big hug, maybe a fruit basket. Then, he quits the Molly, picks up the ganja and orders a shit ton of Papa Johns. His concussion symptoms subside, he finds his happy place, promises to volunteer at the Manning Passing Camp and voila, he catches 12 TDs over the final 9 games. So yea, Danny finishes at .500.
4. Baron – Good acquisition with Cobb and Brees will turn it on soon. But holy shit, I cannot talk playoffs until he benches Vereen, Ingram & Andre Johnson, then drops EVERY SINGLE PLAYER ON HIS BENCH. Seriously there is not one person on his bench that I would want on my team.
For those of you keeping track at home this includes, the Jets dynamic duo, 3 hometown heroes in Jennings, AD and Owen Daniels, 2 guys out for the year (one IR spot for a reason bud, you don’t keep these guys on the bench), and Blake Bortles. Blake motherfucking Bortles. He plays for the Jaguars. The fucking rookie QB for the worst franchise ever.
Who decided Baron was good at Fantasy Football? <and red face fades to normal(ish)>
5. Air Kat – Defense does win championships. Plus, it would be hilarious to see him pack it in and hit huge on some of his downgrades. Not huge enough to make the playoffs, but enough to beat Jose.
6. Jose – For he is the Jose, and only the Jose has the Jose’s legacy to uphold. Plus, too much time making graphs on other teams right now, not enough time making graphs for his own team. If he does make the playoffs, it is only because he failed at the only thing he is good at, being bad at fantasy football. (see last week’s answer, no we shall never stop making fun of Jose.)
(Jose: Dude. You just described Jeff's team in full for Baron. Baron is House Hipster)
Fuck. Well, hold off on that. Let me rewrite his.
4. Baron – So the first time I looked at his team, I couldn’t believe how bad it was. I wrote a lengthy description of how horrible every player on his bench was. Then, Jose told me, “Dude. You just described Jeff's team in full for Baron” Duly noted. Well, can’t go back on my rankings now, that would be un-American. And yes, I ranked Jeff above Air-Kat and the Jose.
THIS WEEK'S QUESTIONS
1. Make sure you're playing this in the background as you read the question.
What if I told you...that one man could sell a team...only to see glory.
That he could block the light at the end of the tunnel...and it would still pierce through anyways.
[Random shot of Moises Alou celebrating the World Series on the Marlins]
What if I told you that dreams were meant to be broken
And Indians really could succeed at a sport other than cricket.
What if I told you that Killers were meant to be killed?
ESPN's critically acclaimed 30 for 30 series presents: Brown Note - The Day Dan's Team got lost in Brown Town.
Here's the real question: Katarya has been selling the farm, and he still beat Dan last week somehow. What kind of emotions does this bring you? And do you think that speaks more to Katarya being lucky, or should we be worried about Dan's team?
2. Describe your team this season in a Haiku. For bonus points, describe one more team using only a Haiku.
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