Guess who's taking a break from chopping wood to chop apart your teams?

That's right, your favorite all-time championship leader.

For these power rankings, I'll be accepting the help of The League's greatest jokesters to tear into your horrible mistakes. Let's begin.

1. House Hipster // 1 - 3 

For an underachieving team, 1 - 3 really ain't so bad. Yes, I was destroyed by Danny in week 1, but since then this team has gone toe-to-toe with Bryan and Jeff. We finally won one last week against the preseason self-anointed greatest-team-ever, CTRL ALT Killers. Plus, 3 Ravens on one team? 

No competition. Best team in the league.

2. Cam Newton's Pussy Riot // 2 -2

As the only team to beat me by more than 9 points, this team is LEGIT.  You could basically call this team the Carimore Rave Panthers with how much this team relies on 2 NFL teams. Justin Forsett is basically the best RB in the game. Steve Smith Senior is having the greatest statistical year a 35 year old receiver could have. Justin Tucker is is still the best kicker in da game. 

Legatron + Megatron = championship (game) we comin'!!!!

3. Chicago Rillas // 2 - 2

Tim's had some poor fantasy luck recently. He's had an average of 100 points/week scored against him PLUS Adrian Peterson beat his way off his team (phrasing?), 2 -2 isn't too shabby. Currently owning the 2012 Ravens championship receiving corps, I can see why this guy is sitting pretty near the top of the man pile. 

4. Swan City // 3 - 1

Jose is in sole possession of 2nd place in our league! This is despite the fact that he's scored the fewest points in the league (averaging 65.25 pts/game). Using a bold two-TE set of Travis Kelce and Yo Soy Fiesta, this is a team to watch out for down the stretch. Trust me.

5. CTRL ALT Killers // 2 - 2

Demaryius Thomas is the Ray Rice of 2014. 

6. Bryan's Team // 2 -2

LeSean McCoy is the Trent Richardson of 2014.

7. Mr. Balloon Hands // 4 - 0

Trent Richardson is also the Trent Richardson of 2014. Other than that? No Ravens... this team is doomed. 4-0 will be a distant memory.

8. Redmond Remedial Ravers // 2 -2

I'm playing Joe this week... please refer to the video: Joe = Andre

No Ravens AND the Steelers' RB... this team is bologna.

9. Baron Nashor // 1 - 3

He drops one girlfriend-beating RB for one child-beating RB. Are you willing to trade Jimmy Graham yet?

10. Brown Town // 1 - 3

Apparently Katarya thought Jamaal Charles was playing through his injury and Vernon Davis is too..

Is Katarya turning into the Taco of our league?

Well, there they are... 

If you don't agree with the rankings then Ruxin has a message for you.